The Feud
by Flash Foreward
Summary: Two men are in love with Leila Norrington: her husband, James Norrington; and one Lucius Malfoy. The feud started when they were both wrenched from their worlds by the object of their desire, and no one knew just how long it was going to last. PotCxHPxTW
1. Untimely Ripped

**A/N: **Wrote this for a friend on another site, Leila's based on her. Also, in this story James has been in the real world for awhile, so any OOCness is 'cause he hasn't been subjected to the PotC universe in a while and has instead been in the real world...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or Pirates of the Caribbean

**The Feud**

**Chapter One  
Untimely Ripped**

"I will not be subjected to this, _Severus_," Lucius Malfoy growled, striding purposefully across the room to stand toe to toe with Severus Snape, the Hogwarts potions master. "Especially not in my own house," he added as the other man opened his mouth to speak. Lucius smirked and tossed a stray strand of white-blonde hair over his shoulder as his eyes bore into Snape's.

"I am on orders-" Snape began, but Lucius quickly cut him off with a wave of his hand.

"Yes, of course, Severus," he said. "Orders from the Dark Lord to inform me of our current progress." He tapped his cane lightly against Snape's chest, his smirk turning, if possible, more sinister. "Isn't that always the way it is, Severus? You on orders, me already informed of that which you came to impart?"

Lucius watched as Snape's impassive mask slowly turned into a scowl, but he did not get to hear the other man's retort. In a whirl of wind and light which felt akin to traveling via floo-powder, Lucius found himself standing in a cluttered room. His arrival upset a stack of books, and as he turned to glare at them for intruding, he caught sight of a woman hunched over a Muggle contraption he believed was referred to as a 'computer'.

Her back was to him and it was obvious that she was intent on whatever she was doing. Careful to avoid the prior stack of offending books, Lucius moved slowly around the strange woman, taking in her long dark hair and the determined look on her face as it came into view.

He stopped moving when he could see her eyes, not wanting to draw her attention to him. He studied her, taking in the strange contraptions shoved into her ears and trailing to the computer. He took another, cautious, step forward, his eyes never leaving her, and another stack of books got in his way.

It toppled with a series of thuds, and the topmost book collided with the woman's ankle. She jumped, wrenched one of the contraptions from her ear, and looked down at the books. She followed them with her gaze and in a matter of moments she was staring into Lucius' face. He did his best to glower at her, though he found it difficult as he found himself struck by her beauty.

She blinked, tilted her head a little to the side, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, god, not again," she muttered. Lucius' scowl turned into a look of confusion for a brief moment, but he quickly caught himself and straightened up.

"I demand you return me to my manor," he said, forcefully. "I was in the midst of a meeting that needs to be concluded."

The woman shook her head, a sheepish smile growing on her face.

"I can't," she said, "I don't know how."

"What do you mean you don't know how?" Lucius demanded. "You brought me here, did you not?" She nodded slowly, though Lucius could tell she was not convinced. She cleared her throat and put on a polite smile.

"I'm not really sure how that happened, either," she said. "I mean, it's not like it's the first time, but I still haven't-"

"Leila, darling, honestly we need to get more crisps," a voice announced, preceding the figure who stepped through the doorway, a bag of crisps in one hand as he ran his other through his mess of brown hair. Lucius took in the man's appearance without bothering to hide the sneer of disdain that twitched at his lip.

He wore a pair of obviously outdated pants, something Lucius remembered hearing described in stories about Muggle sailors from long ago. His coat matched, though it was undone, revealing his bare chest. As Lucius returned his gaze to the other man's, he was met with an angry glare.

"Hi, James," the woman, Leila, said in a quiet voice. She rolled her eyes at Lucius, a hint that she knew what came next.

"Leila, what's he doing here?" the man demanded. The woman coughed and gestured to her computer.

"I was writing about him, and he just kind of…," she said, trailing off at the end, shrugging her shoulders and pointing and Lucius.

"You have got to be kidding me, Leila!" James groaned, the crisps forgotten. "Honestly, if you keep this up you'll have nothing left to write."

"I haven't had any trouble writing about you," Leila retorted. James stared at her, his mouth open with halted words. Lucius glanced from the man to the woman and back, wondering what exactly was going on.

Slowly, his smirk returned to his lips. He'd figured it out.

"Is this some trick of the Dark Lord's?" he queried. "To test my loyalty?"

James turned his attention to the other man and stared at him, sizing his up, for a moment before he spoke.

"The 'Dark Lord'?" he asked, glancing at Leila for a brief moment before continuing. "Is that…some god? An ally of Calypso's perhaps?" Leila sighed audibly, drawing to her the attention of both men.

"James, the Dark Lord has nothing to do with you," she said, then turned to Lucius. "This isn't a trap or a trick or a test or anything like that, it's…well, I honestly have no idea what it is. It's only happened twice now," she concluded.

"What has 'only happened twice'?" Lucius queried sharply.

"Characters appearing in my house," Leila replied with a shrug, as though it were obvious. "First James," she said, pointing at the sailor; "then you," she returned her attention to Lucius.

"Really?" Lucius asked, stepping forward slowly and tapping his fingers lightly on his cane. "'Characters,' you say?"

"Watch it, you," James snapped. "That's my wife you're talking to!"

Lucius stopped and turned to James.

"Wife?" he asked, intrigued. "How long have you been here?" James shrugged, glancing pleadingly at Leila.

"Awhile," Leila stated. "Let's see, when did I start 'The Rise of Libertas'?"

"'The Rise of…' what?" Lucius asked, his eyes still on James.

"That's the story I was writing when James appeared."

"What are you writing now?"

Lucius turned to peer over Leila's shoulder at the computer screen, trying to remember what he'd heard about the objects so he could decipher what was on it. Leila, however, quickly put herself in between him and the screen.

"You can't read it," she said as he stood up again. "It isn't done yet."

"It was this story that caused me to be untimely ripped from my manor," Lucius said, his voice smooth and purposeful. "I believe I have a right to know what it is about."

"S'about your family after the war," James piped up. Leila glared at him.

"After what war?" Lucius queried.

"Dunno, never read the books," James replied. "And all Leila'll tell me is that it takes place after the war."

"What war?" Lucius asked again, this time to Leila. Leila sighed.

"The war with the Dark Lord," she muttered under her breath. Lucius grinned.

"Ah, you're writing about how prosperous my family becomes once the Dark Lord is in control of the Wizarding world?" he asked. Leila's face fell, and Lucius' followed. "We lose?!" he demanded. "How could we lose?!" Leila shrugged.

"That's how it's written," she said, pointing to the stack of books Lucius had toppled earlier. The book that had collided with Leila's foot now lay by Lucius and he gazed down at the cover.

"'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows'," he read. "They're books?" he asked, looking up again. "About that…brat, Potter?" Leila nodded.

Lucius stepped back, the back of his knees colliding with a chair. He sank down, shaking his head in shock. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into James' face.

"It's all right," James said. "It took me awhile, too."

Lucius nodded.

"Awhile…," he muttered, staring at the books at his feet.


	2. May the Best Man Win

**A/N:** Written for a friend on another site.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean or Harry Potter.

**Chapter Two  
May the Best Man Win**

"Why on earth were you writing about _him_?" James demanded, glancing nervously over his shoulder at the doorway that led to the living room where Lucius was (much to his chagrin) stretched out on the hide-a-bed for a long nap.

"Oh, now you have a say in who I write about?" Leila asked, focusing her energy on typing the last few pages of her newest story.

"Well, no…," James stuttered. He paused and drew himself up as nobly as he could. "But, really, _him_? I distinctly remember you saying you had a crush on him."

"He's married, James," Leila snapped, punctuating the statement with a sharp tap of the enter key. A grim look crossed James' face just as Leila glanced at him to see if he would leave well enough alone, she groaned at the sight. "What?" she asked.

"He's not married in this world," James said quietly, then he turned on his heel and left with a purposeful gait. Leila sighed. She returned her attention to the computer screen, staring at the paragraphs she'd managed to write since Lucius had arrived. It seemed that anytime she brought a character from their world to the real world her muse worked on overdrive once they'd arrived.

Now she looked at the finished product, the second story in a series, and she wondered what she could do to get Lucius back to the Harry Potter universe. She debated deleting what she'd been writing when he'd arrived, but that was the first thing she had tried when James had appeared and if it hadn't worked for him she doubted it would work for Lucius. So, once again, she was stuck.

She sighed and leaned back, hitting the save button on her word processor so she didn't lose any of her hard work. She ran a hand through her hair, thinking back to that time so long ago when James Norrington had appeared in her den.

She had just finished the first chapter of The Rise of Libertas, her epic Pirates of the Caribbean story, when she'd felt a tap on her shoulder. She'd turned around to find James standing behind her, sword in hand, demanding to know what flag she sailed under.

She'd managed to calm him down and had promised to find a way for him to return to his world. They tried everything from watching all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies in a row to reading aloud horrible, Mary-Sue infested stories, to reading wonderful, epically long ones, and finally deleting Leila's hard work (for only a brief moment, of course).

Nothing worked.

They'd resigned themselves to that fact, and James had fallen into a depressed funk. He had torn Leila's house apart in search of rum, though he found none and eventually just sat on the couch and tried to figure out how the TV worked.

He eventually came out of it, though Leila wasn't entirely sure what made him until he was down on one knee in front of her expressing his undying love and asking her to marry him.

Leila smiled at the memory as she put the finishing touches on her Lucius story and prepared to post it.

"What are you writing?" Lucius' voice came from behind her, making her jump. She turned her head quickly, doing her best to shield the screen. Lucius glared at her. "Do I at least get to know the title?" he queried.

"It's, uh," Leila glanced over her shoulder and cleared her throat. "It's called 'Curiosity'." Lucius nodded slowly, striding towards her.

"And what," he asked, "is it about?"

"You already know that," Leila replied, doing her best to shield the screen. Lucius sneered at the thought of the Dark Lord's loss and shook his head. He reached Leila's side and carefully urged her aside with his cane. She fought for a moment, but eventually gave in and moved over so he could read over her shoulder. She watched as his eyes scanned down the page, cringing long before she saw his response.

"Granger?" he finally spat. "That Mudblood scum! I would never speak to her!" Leila rolled her eyes.

"How do you know that?" she asked, pushing Lucius aside and quickly saving the document and exiting. The man frowned indignantly, shaking his head.

"That girl is filth," he said. "I would never be seen with her."

"All right, fine," Leila said, shutting down her computer. She stood, stretching her arms above her head and meandering along the paths between boxes and piles of books towards the doorway. Lucius stood still, watching her.

"You will delete it, yes?" he asked, menacingly.

"Nope," Leila replied. Lucius drew his wand.

"You will delete it or I will be forced to take action," he said. Leila glanced over her shoulder at him and laughed.

"That won't work here," she said. "Even James' pistol doesn't work here."

"We shall see," Lucius said, advancing. He opened his mouth, preparing to mutter a spell, but a doorbell ringing shattered the moment and Leila laughed and scurried out into the hall and disappeared around a corner. Lucius stood dumbfounded, staring at the spot she'd occupied moments before.

He blinked, diverting his attention from the doorway and glancing down at his wand. He raised it, glancing about the room. He thought for a moment, then cleared his throat.

"Accio Deathly Hallows," he said, softly. Nothing happened. "Accio Deathly Hallows," he tried again. Again, nothing happened.

A laugh came from the doorway as Lucius was clearing his throat to try again, and he looked up to find James standing there, watching him.

"Try all you want," James said. "It won't work." He slipped a pistol from the holster, cocked it, and pointed it at the wall. He pulled the trigger and Lucius cringed, remembering tales of Muggles using the devices to kill each other, but nothing happened.

"See?" James said, as though speaking to a child. Lucius glared at him.

"You are rash," Lucius said. "Undeserving of the attentions of your lady." James laughed.

"Is that so?" he asked. "I'll have you know I am an Admiral in the Royal Navy!"

"Were an Admiral, you mean," Lucius countered, a smirk growing on his face, James's smile fell. "I'll win her from you, _Admiral_," Lucius spat. "I, after all, have wealth and power." James glared at him.

"Had, you mean," he snarled. Lucius laughed.

"No," he said. "Even here, I'm sure I could gain the power I had in my world." He smirked at James's expression and held out his hand to the other man. "May the best man win."

"She's my wife," James said, taking Lucius's hand and shaking it. "I've already won."


	3. Suspicous Rift ActivityWhat!

**A/N:** Chapter three. Written for a friend on another site.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Torchwood

**Chapter Three  
Suspicious Rift Activity…What?!**

_Yes, Pizza!_ Leila thought as she wrenched the door open. The man standing before her, however, did not fit the profile of a Pizza delivery man. On the contrary, he was dressed in a suit, with a pink shirt and all. Leila blinked and stared at him, trying to figure out why he looked familiar.

"Um, can I help you?" Leila asked, surveying the man. He had short, brown hair, bright brown eyes, and a rather adorable smile. Just from looking at him, Leila felt a smile growing on her own face, but it fell the minute another man appeared behind him. A man in a long, blue, military duster, with a button up shirt and suspenders. Leila's jaw dropped.

"Ja…Jack?" she asked, her thoughts racing back to that British television show an online friend of hers never stopped talking about. She glanced back at the face of the other man and raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Ianto?"

"How does she know your names?" came a female voice from behind the two men. Leila stood up on her tiptoes to peer over their shoulders at the brunette behind them.

"Who's she?" Leila asked, pointing. The woman glared at her.

"All right! How does she know your names and not mine?" she queried.

"Well…Ianto and Jack are the only one's Flash talks about," Leila said, the woman stared at her.

"Who," she asked, "is 'Flash'?"

"Ianto's wife…," Leila posed. The three exchanged glances, Ianto shrugged and blushed as he fell under Jack's scrutiny, and Gwen opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak, Leila cleared her throat and asked, "Um…what are you guys doing here?"

"There's been some suspicious rift activity around this street," Jack said, stepping past Ianto and into the house. "Has anything odd occurred here recently? Anything out of the ordinary?"

"Odd?" Leila asked, casting a surreptitious glance at the stairs behind her. "Uh, no…," she finished, just as a shout of "AVADA KEDAVRA" bounced down from the rooms above. Leila pressed her fingers to her temples, feeling a headache coming on. When she looked back up at Jack, Ianto, and the woman, she saw a quizzical yet knowing look on Jack's face.

"Nothing odd, huh?" he asked. "Gwen, go see how Tosh is doing with that trace, Ianto, with me; if the good lady will let us check things out?" Leila sighed.

"All right," she said. "But I doubt it has anything to do with your rift."

"Oh, now she knows about the rift, too?" Gwen queried, rolling her eyes. Jack gave her a warning look and, with a shake of her head, she reluctantly wandered back across the yard to Leila's driveway, where a black SUV with "TORCHWOOD" written on the side stood, a young Asian woman leaning against it.

"Um," Leila asked as she let Jack and Ianto in and began to lead them up the stairs. "Aren't there more of you?" Jack nodded.

"Owen had some function to attend," he said. "Or, maybe he was sick, I can't really remember."

"He was sick, Sir," Ianto provided. Jack nodded and continued up the stairs. As they neared the top, Leila stopped short and looked down at them.

"How did you get that SUV over from…Wales, is it?" Leila queried. Jack shrugged.

"We're Torchwood," he said. Leila nodded and continued up the stairs. Standing in the door of the den, Lucius had his wand out and leveled on James, who had retreated to stand by the couch, sword drawn. Leila sighed.

"Honestly, I leave you alone for five minutes and you're trying to kill each other?" she asked. "James, why are you over there, you know his wand doesn't work, right?"

"Well…," James trailed off, then pointed behind Leila, quick to change the subject. "Who're they?"

"This is Jack, and Ianto," Leila said, pointing as she spoke. Jack slipped past Leila and held his hand out to James, grinning broadly.

"Captain Jack Harkness," he said. "And you would be?" James stared at him, then he slowly began to back away.

"No…not Flash's 'Harkness'," he sputtered, brandishing his sword. "Keep him away!" Leila rolled her eyes, trying to keep her attention split between Lucius, James, Ianto, and Jack. Lucius had lowered his wand, but he was still glaring at James, Ianto was suppressing a laugh, and James and Jack looked like they were about to get into a physical fight.

"Hey," Leila said, nudging Ianto. "Call him off. Flash told him Jack flirts with everyone."

"He does," Ianto whispered back. He cleared his throat. "We should probably check for rift activity, Sir," he said. Jack stopped his advance on James and turned to face Ianto, nodding slowly.

"I think we found the effect," he said, nodding at Lucius, then at James. "These two don't exactly look period."

"I doubt that-" Leila started, stepping forward, but Jack cut her off.

"We'll have to get them back to the hub, run some tests," he said. "After Tosh does a preliminary scan here, of course."

"I will have you know," Lucius said, advancing towards Jack and causing Leila to slap her palm against her forehead. "That I will go nowhere with you. I will remain here until Leila can find a way to return me to my proper place."

"Leila?!" James raged. "That's Mrs. Norrington to you!"

"I will refer to her as I wish," Lucius replied in an even tone.

"Boys, boys, calm down," Jack said playfully, James shifted his glare from Lucius to Jack, lifting his sword to point it at the man's chest.

"I will have you know that I am not a _boy_," he growled. "I am an Admiral."

"And I'm a Captain," Jack said, stepping forward. "What army?"

"Don't come any closer, you!" James said, but Jack continued forward. The tip of James's blade was pressed against his chest, and still he walked, forcing James back into a corner, a silly grin on his face.

"Couldn't this get dangerous?" Leila whispered to Ianto, ignoring the smirk growing on Lucius' face.

"I suppose this 'Flash' person left out a few things when telling you about us," Ianto replied. "Just watch."

Leila returned her attention to the two just in time to see James's sword slide into Jack. Her husband's eyes were wide with shock as he pulled the weapon from the man's body and the whole crowd watched him fall limply to the ground. Out of the corner of her eye, as she ran to the man's side, Leila swore she saw Ianto pull a stopwatch from his pocket.


	4. Stopwatches, TV Shows, and the Undead

**A/N:** Written for a friend on another site.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Torchwood

**Chapter Four  
Stopwatches, TV Shows, and the Undead**

"Ja…James…what did you do?" Leila stuttered, staring across the room at her husband. His gaze was on Jack Harkness's limp body, and he didn't respond to Leila's question for a long time. When he finally did speak, he flicked his scared eyes up to glance at Leila, then quickly returned them to the ghastly sight before him.

"I didn't…it…I didn't do it on purpose," he stammered. "He just kept walking towards me, I couldn't do anything."

"I much prefer wands to swords," Lucius said. "They aren't as clumsy." James shot him a glare as the pounding of footsteps reached their ears, and Gwen and Tosh appeared at the top of the staircase. They both froze, their gazes shifting hurriedly from Jack's motionless body, to James, to Ianto, and back.

An unsettling silence fell over the room, and just when Leila thought they were all going to stand around staring at the dead man until he decayed, Jack moved. Not much, just a twitch, but it was followed by a loud, pained gasp as the man sat up. He glanced at Ianto who hit the button on top of the stopwatch and grinned.

"A record, sir," he said. Jack grinned, standing up and brushing off his coat.

"Well, that was an adventure," he said. He glanced at Gwen and Tosh, raising an eyebrow. "Well?"

"It's not the rift," Tosh explained. "It's, well, it's something else entirely."

"Well, that's our cue to leave, then," Jack said, walking leisurely across the room and holding out a hand for the device Tosh was holding. She gave it to him, and his eyes skimmed over it quickly, while Leila glanced from the calm faces of Gwen and Ianto to James' confused expression, then to Lucius' attempt at a knowing look.

"Why aren't you dead?" Leila finally asked, Jack looked up at her, then glanced back at his team. He opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"That'd be your pizza," Jack said, glancing at Ianto. The other man nodded and descended the stairs. "Shall we discuss this over dinner?" he asked. Leila nodded slowly and led the crowd down the stairs, past Ianto's discussion with the pizza delivery man, and into her kitchen.

They crowded around the table as Leila gathered plates and glasses and Ianto dished out Pizza and poured everyone a glass of water. Leila, Lucius, and James ignored their food, but Gwen, Tosh, Jack, and Ianto ate slowly, tossing jokes and discussions back and forth while their hosts waited impatiently for an explanation.

After a few minutes, Lucius cleared his throat, drawing the attention of everyone except Jack who took a long drink of water.

"Are you," Lucius queried, "a vampire?"

"Nonsense," James interjected as Gwen, Tosh, and Ianto obviously stifled laughs. "He must be a god."

"Well," Jack said, wiping his hands and standing. "Thanks for the meal, but we'd better go."

"He can't die!" Leila shouted triumphantly. "Flash said he's a fixed point in time… or something like that." James stared at her, but her attention was focused on her four guests, who were now the ones exchanging confused glances.

"You honestly believe her?" James queried. Leila glared at him. "You've never even met her!"

"But she watches the show," Leila said. "So she'd know."

"Show?" Gwen asked. Leila nodded.

"Torch…something," she said.

"Torchwood?" Tosh supplied.

"Yes, that's it!" Leila declared, smiling broadly at James.

"So, you are undead?" Lucius queried. "A vampire?" Jack shook his head and looked to Leila.

"How much did this Flash person tell you?" he asked.

"She said that you were killed by something she described as… tin cans with death rays… or something," Leila said, thinking hard to remember what her online friend had told her. "And that you were brought back to life, but it was done in such a way as to make you unable to die."

"Jack, why does she know that?" Gwen asked nervously. Jack shrugged off the question and slipped his hands into his pockets.

"Do you know about the rift, too?" he asked. Leila shook her head.

"Not really, Flash mostly just talked about you and Ianto," she said, glancing at the other man.

"I can't believe this," Gwen said, throwing her hands up. "How does she know all this?"

"You're from a television show," Leila explained. "Like James is from a movie and Lucius is from a book." Jack nodded.

"And how do you suppose we got out of the television?" Tosh asked. "The rift?" Jack shook his head.

"Writing," he said. "That girl, when we first arrived, she said she'd written us so much we came out of the show."

"I thought we agreed she was working with aliens," Ianto stated. Jack shrugged.

"Guess maybe we were wrong," he said. "Do you know how to get us back?" Leila shook her head.

"I'm still trying to figure out how to get these guys back," she said.

"Hey!" James interjected, Leila sighed.

"Okay, I'm trying to figure out how to get Lucius back."

"I'm quite content to remain here with you, Leila," Lucius said, smirking.

"That's Mrs. Norrington," James corrected. Leila sighed.

"See?" she posed, Jack nodded.

"Maybe," he said. "It would be best if we returned to that girl's place and see if she's figured out a way to return us to where we came from." Tosh and Ianto nodded, but Gwen shook her head.

"How do we know this is the truth?" she asked.

"Because," Jack said, pointing at Lucius. "The only people who dress like that are Harry Potter fanatics, and he seems a bit old."

"I'll have you know-" Lucius began, but Leila quickly cut him off.

"I'll show you out," she said, glaring at Lucius and James. "Behave," she whispered as she led Jack, Ianto, Gwen, and Tosh to the door. She let them out, waiting until the SUV had disappeared down the road before returning to the kitchen.

She sank down into a chair and grabbed a piece of pizza. She ate it slowly, staring off into space. It wasn't until she'd started another piece that she realized James and Lucius were no longer standing by the counter. Indeed, they were no longer even in the room.

"Great," Leila sighed, tossing the pizza aside and setting off to search for the two men.


	5. Just Don't Kill Each Other

**A/N: **Sorry about how long this update took. My muse is being rather evil as of late. Enjoy!

**Chapter Five  
Just…Don't Kill Each Other**

"To the death, then?" Lucius queried, examining the broadsword James had armed him with, his opponent nodded.

"To the death," he said, brandishing his own weapon. He grinned at the smug look on Lucius face, pleased with his knowledge that the sword the wizard was wielding was far too rusty to be effective.

As they faced off, preparing to begin their duel, a door slammed and both men jumped, hurriedly attempting to conceal their weapons behind their backs.

"No," Leila said sternly from the back door. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was shaking her head slowly, glaring at the two men. James hung his head, but Lucius kept his high, the smug look never leaving his face.

"We were merely going to enter into a gentleman's duel, _Mrs. Norrington_," Lucius stated, glancing at James as he emphasized the use of Leila's surname. "It was an effort to solidify your affections."

"Solidi…," Leila stared at Lucius. "I'm _married_, Mr. Malfoy, and so are you."

"On the contrary. I am married within the pages of a book, not here in your world. As for you and your…husband, he is a fictitious character and, I believe, the wedding is therefore not legal," Lucius countered. Leila rolled her eyes.

"You're a fictitious character, too, Malfoy," she said. "Now, get in the house, both of you, so I can figure out how to get you back in your book."

James rushed to Leila's side, ready to follow her back into the house, but Lucius stayed where he was, examining his rusty sword and clicking his tongue.

"Now, now," he said. "What about his movie?"

"What are you talking about?" James asked, glancing at Leila. "I'm her husband.

"Yes," Lucius conceded. "But you still don't belong here."

"He has a point…," Leila started, but trailed off at the horrified look on James' face.

"Please, let me fight him?" James begged. Leila sighed, glancing from her husband to Lucius.

"You know what, fine," she finally said, shaking her head in exasperation. "Fight each other. _I_ am going inside to figure out how to get you back where you belong," she finished, pointing at Lucius. She turned to go back in the house, but stopped and looked back at the two men. "Just…don't kill each other," she said, then disappeared.

"Well, now," Lucius said. "Shall we begin this?"

"We shall," James replied, stepping back out into the yard to face his opponent."

"To the death?" Lucius posed.

"Well…," James stalled, glancing at the house. "How about first blood?"

"Fine," Lucius grumbled. "First blood."

Inside, Leila made herself comfortable in her computer room and lifted the first Harry Potter book from the floor. She flipped through the first few pages, knowing that Lucius didn't appear in it. With a sigh, she tossed it aside and reached for the second one.

She flipped to the first part with Lucius and read the entire chapter out loud. When she finished, she hurried to a window that looked over the backyard, hoping she'd found the way; but instead of seeing James looking around wildly in confusion, she saw the two men dueling, as they'd said they would.

She sighed and returned to her chair, flipping around again in search of Lucius' next appearance.

She spent the afternoon doing this, with every single Harry Potter book. When she finally reached Lucius' last part in the final book, she slammed it shut and didn't even bother going to the window. Instead, she booted up her computer and went back to writing.

She was so engrossed in her work, that she didn't hear James clear his throat until the third time he tried it. She jumped and turned to him, taking in his ripped clothes and the cuts and bruises on his bare skin. She shook her head.

"Is he still alive?" she asked. James shrugged.

"Far as I know," he said. "I was about to run him through and he just disappeared."

Leila's jaw dropped.

"James! We did it!" she shouted. "He's back in the book!" As she rushed over to hug her husband, a loud pop interrupted her and Lucius Malfoy stood between them. Leila groaned.

"I thought he couldn't do that here," James said, confused. Leila sighed and fell back into her chair.

"So did I," she said.


	6. One More Try

**Chapter Six**  
**One More Try**

"Why can he use magic?' James asked, reaching for his gun. Leila quickly took his hand, stopping the movement.

"I have no idea," she said. "Maybe we're getting closer to getting him back."

Lucius scoffed. "Isn't obvious?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and surveying his unwilling hosts. "I am stuck in this world, just as James is. Should we not make the most of it?" Leila shook her head.

"I…I guess," she said with a sigh.

"What?!" James protested, staring at Leila in surprise. "You're not honestly going to let him stay, are you?"

"What else can I do, James?" Leila asked, taking her husbands hand. "We'll just…have to…," she trailed off as she let her gaze fall on the pile of Harry Potter books by the armchair. "I have an idea," she said. She sprung from her seat and dug through the pile until she came up with the first book. She thrust it into Lucius' grasp and guided him to sit in the chair.

"What do you expect me to do with this?" he demanded. Leila smiled.

"I expect you to read it," she said, then pointed at the rest of the books. "And them. All of them. Alone." Without waiting for Lucius' protests, she took James' hand and hurried from the room, carefully closing the door behind her.

"Are you sure you want to leave him alone?" James asked, eyeing the door nervously. Leila chuckled lightly and shook her head.

"I don't think we have anything to worry about, James," she said.

"But, he can use magic now," James protested as Leila led him away from the den towards their bedroom.

"Are you sure you want to be thinking about him right now?" she asked, trying to sound as though Lucius didn't matter. In reality, she was worried that he wouldn't read and would simply disapperate and terrorize some unsuspecting members of the neighborhood. It was quite an unsettling thought.

"Why don't we stay out here?" James asked, halting next to the couch. "So we can hear him." Leila sighed, then nodded and slumped down onto the couch.

"Fine," she said. "But what do you want to do?" she asked. James shrugged.

"We could watch DMC," he said, smiling.

"Of course," Leila replied. "You put it in." James nodded and hurriedly set up the DVD. Soon they were watching the movie, with James interjecting every time one of his scenes came up.

Leila wasn't sure when she dozed off, but when she woke the movie's credits were rolling. She yawned and stretched, glancing next to her to see if James had also fallen asleep. But he wasn't there. Figuring he'd gone to get coffee, Leila decided to check on their 'guest.' She hurried to the door of the den and pushed it open, peering in to see the chair unoccupied, a book on the floor.

She smiled.

"James!" she called out, rushing from the room and down the stairs. She hurried to the kitchen, but her husband wasn't there. She rushed through the rest of the house, searching every room for James. She never found him. She returned to the den, dumbfounded, wondering how James could be gone. She sat in the armchair and kicked the Harry Potter book aside.

In a small, messy dorm room, at a small, messy desk, sat a young woman typing furiously. The words appeared on her computer screen, glowing in the darkness that was slowly falling. She smiled to herself as he wrote: the most unbelievable cross-over, she'd thought when she started, would be perfected by her.

She reached the pinnacle of the story, an epic battle between pirates and wizards, when a loud thump behind her made her jump. She turned around, and her mouth fell open. Standing behind her, locked in fisticuffs, was a man with long blonde hair and a man with shoulder length brown hair.

The young woman cleared her throat, and her two unexpected guests peered up at her from under one another's limbs.

"Can I help you?" she asked. The men looked at each other and jumped apart.

"Do you know a Mrs. Leila Norrington?" the brown-haired man asked.

"And, do you know how we could return to her abode?" the blonde-haired man added.

The young woman shook her head.

"How did you…," she started, trailing off as the two men glared at each other.

"Just finish your story," the brown-haired man snarled, eyeing the blonde suspiciously.

"Yes, we'll return to our worlds eventually," the blonde concluded.

The young woman nodded and turned back to her computer. She continued writing, trying her best to tune out the argument and fist-fight that had erupted behind her. As she reached the end of the chapter, silence fell over the room. She smiled to himself, thinking she had succeeded in returning his unwanted guests to where they'd come from.

She shut down her computer, preparing for bed. But, as she stood and turned around, stretching her arms above her head, she found the blonde-haired man lying in her roommate's bed, and the brown-haired man curled up on the floor.

"Oh, god, not again," she muttered, pulling back the covers on her bed and climbing in. As the moonlight filtered in through the window, the girl stared up at the skeletal monkey clinging to the ceiling.


End file.
